Monday, January 5, 2015

OCD Bright & Dark Sides

The two sides of OCD - I’m referring to my everyday life and some of the ways I’ve responded.

I have learned the bright side of having OCD; there are many benefits such as the ability to track conversations, patterns and sequence (words, people, places and things) and a whole lot more… 

Thank goodness for the bright side as the dark side can be very disturbing. Way back in the day, I was like a magnet noticing everything wrong; typically I didn’t counter balance the experience with understanding or compassion. With time and commitment to self-improvement, my internal response to these different situations has improved… even those times when I see red. 

A self-taught artist, my eye for detail is always at the forefront. 

I used to paint still-life – pretty good at it though I recall the last still-life painting, I made my life and the lives of my children and former husband hell; a relentless three days to perfect a bird’s feather was enough for me to put my paintbrush away for ten years. My perfection obsession was neurotic.

One day at an art fair I was captivated with a whole new painting expression, it looked fun and I haven’t looked back. I absolutely love my whimsical painting! It brings me so much joy! Give me furniture, canvas or fabric and acrylic paint, even wall paint … and I’m in heaven. 

 My website is another expression of my creativity… when I hire someone I expect them to be better (as they are the professional/ expert) or at least as good as me. After several attempts, sometimes seeing red and sometimes having a meltdown, I surrendered to accepting for the time being my work would suffice keeping in mind someday that person would appear.
As everything in life, it’s how we respond to any situation. I believe the more we know about ourselves (and using the information as a tool of improvement) the better we manage our lives. In fact, even with the difficulties I continue to move through, I really appreciate the positive benefits of  OCD.

Happy day to you!

Ponderings... Food for the Soul (c)

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