A quick story ... once upon a time there was a cloth bench headed for the dumpster. It had been used and no longer wanted; I learned of it's fate and went for the rescue. Taking it home and giving it a new life with paint and added decor, it's life was restored.
The birds casting seeds, unknowing where the seeds would land...
Several years ago I was working with a couple who were deciding
whether they wanted to continue their marriage or bring it to an end;
they chose the latter. Both were concerned about the family gossip. They didn’t want to feed the gossip, so what were they to say?
I suggested for them to share they were ending their marriage because they were no longer bringing out the best in each other. I also suggested they didn’t need to say any more or less.
Though being human … there are times when we feel we have to explain ourselves, especially to family and friends and sometimes the emotion button is activated.
Have you ever said something in the heat of the moment only wishing
you could retrieve it? Saying a little bit and it didn’t seem like it
was enough to make sense, so you felt the need to say more and it
wasn’t enough either, oh gosh… feeling yourself getting in deeper and
Being human … some of us have too much time on our hands … and we
gossip. Where there is gossip there is drama and nothing good comes from
Steering clear of gossip is reflective of personal development/ maturity/ awareness...
Wayne Dyer the “father of motivation”
shares when his children would begin to gossip, he wouldn’t
participate. He would say since (child’s name) isn’t here to defend
themselves I will. That brought a halt to the gossip and drama.
Bringing out the best … is a conscious decision looking beyond our
immediate needs and determining that which serves the highest good of
all and implementing it.
“When we gain control of our mind, our True Nature automatically
shines forth in all its radiance.” –John Welshons, author of "One Soul,
One Love, One Heart"
I recently had a conversation with someone who is experiencing
turmoil in his life. Having a curious nature about me I asked what kept
him in his uncomfortable situation. His response, “It’s comfortable and
at least I know what’s going on, if I change I won’t know won’t what to
We have this fallacy with “being comfortable”. Is it possible
being comfortable also equates conditioning? Perhaps being comfortable
alters our perception of life.
• Life isn’t working the way we want it, we say, “life sucks!”
• Our health is compromised – we blame it on _____ (kids, work, animals, etc.)
• Relationships aren’t what we expected – it’s the other person’s fault
• Our job isn’t great anymore? – just too much stress …
• Opportunities are passed to the other person – we’re mad
Being comfortable with a menu of knowing what to expect robs us of living our best life.
One thing is certain, when we hangout with this thinking, we find our
friends with similar viewpoints – that’s a comforting thought, huh.
Scary as situations can be, by taking baby steps we can move towards a healthier outcome. Taking our head out of the sand offers us new insights. Sometimes it isn't comfortable however without taking a risk there is no glory.
Yesterday I shared my time with Benson, who is two. We were outdoors
where he has a big backyard to play in, a couple of Cocker Spaniels to
play with – though he has little time for them as he’s more interested
in duplicating his father’s actions.
Benson grabbed my hand and led me to the ‘big boys’ shop where the ‘big’
riding lawnmowers and motorcycles are stored. We went inside and
quicker than you can blink an eye, he was over, around and through the
maze and all but on a mower. I found myself moving quicker than I have
in a year or two, and while swooping him up in my arms he had the
realization his adventure was brought to a halt.
Let me rewind for a moment, since this baby has been barely old
enough to be propped in front of his father on the riding lawnmower,
Benson has been focused, watching every move. His father taught Benson
how to “drive” and “shift” – Who would have known this little
masterminded-curly-red-head, has a photographic memory?
I’m guessing he was a little older than a year (not much though) we
were out in the backyard, his dad had left the riding lawnmower outdoors
with the key in the ignition.
Imagining a little guy at that age knowing how to climb up and
attempt to turn the key (the only thing that prevented this from
occurring was that he didn’t have the strength). Benson would move the
wheel back and forth; he attempted to move the lever on the handle bar –
he was ready to make that thing go. Thinking to myself, oh my gosh,
changes are in the works. His daddy decided it was time to move the
lawnmower into the shop – with a closed door.
Christmas brought him a John Deer riding lawn mower just like his father’s.
Returning to yesterday … after Benson realized that I was
interrupting his grand scheme and fussing and flinging about in my arms
for a moment, I assured him we’d do something else. We did. He took off,
headed for his John Deere riding lawn mower – I quickly realized that it was
operational. It too had a gas pedal (that works), gears including
reverse (that work) and the steering wheel that moves when he turns it.
He jumped on that thing just like he’s watched his dad a zillion times.
Driving it around, he’d get off pick up sticks and add them to the attached bed … and get right back on and continue.
I was amused to watch him while he was driving on an uphill slant,
occasionally the tires would lose traction preventing him from going
anywhere. He’d jump off of it, saying something about it not getting
enough gas (remember he’s two), fiddle with the gas lid, saying it would
get more gas, jump back onto the seat and put it into gear, foot on the
pedal with determination and belief that mower would move forward – and
it did – with a helping hand unbeknown to him.
I love being Benson's mema.
A great experience, and recapping with my daughter (Benson’s mom) several metaphors appeared…
Such an inspiration, he is. Not once did he hesitate, he believed.
Where might you apply this little guy’s wisdom in your life?
Did you know by smiling to the count of 60 - your energy can improve?
I suppose this notion of mine is purely subjective - perhaps you'll read this and try it for yourself.
Many years ago I learned by having visuals, (i.e., pictures) to
trigger my inner happy button, I could raise my energy (also known as
change my mood) - it's been a very effective tool.
With time and more tools learned, this application of smiling to the
count of 60 became a routine part of my day. I really like how it works.
The two different applications of a smile:
I'm counting ... simultaneously with a smile on my face - my focus is
to stay engaged to the count and smile - I accomplish it. While I did
it what I set out to do, the outcome is mechanical.
The other option: when I smile, count and allow my mind to experience
something that brings me joy (like my grandchildren) - not only am I connected to my self I've
tuned into God/Source, subsequently my energy has increased.
Today I had a client do this process. Upon completion she shared how
much work it was to smile and count to 60; I shared with my
interpretation of Tony Robbin's (motivational guru) spin ... while we're
taught to focus on the destinations in life, there's more. He says the
destination is very important however it's half of the equation - the
journey is the other half - enjoy what you're doing while you're moving
towards your goal.
Her realization - her focus was on the destination and she realized
that doesn't smile much. Her assignment: smile, count to 60 and
experience (within her mind) happiness ten times a day. She was especially enthusiastic when learning this process increases the serotonin and is a powerful antidepressant.
Have you heard the story about Pain, Blame and
Shame? And Fame.
Pain, Blame and Shame were always attempting to be
the same as Fame.
Sometimes it was just easier for Pain, Blame and
Shame to give up and wait for the right day. With luck, maybe someone would
help them. The days came and went... and so did the years.
Sometimes they felt as though they were on the right
track — they told each other so. They believed they were happy ... yet they
believed true happiness would be euphoric when they caught up with Fame.
The last it was known their persistence gained
momentum with the addition of Regret, Doubt and Not-Enough.
While I was
transporting my grandson to school the other day, he was telling me a story and
referred to something as ‘crap.’ I listened to Bryce tell his story and when he
was complete I asked him what ‘crap’ meant. He believed it be something
negative. He said, “You know Gramma!”
I asked him
what all he knew about crap – he looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. (It’s a
good thing I was driving slow and there wasn’t hardly any traffic … my
attention was somewhat distracted.) He responded – “It’s not anything good.”
“Crap can be rather icky, stinky and really
yucky looking … would you agree?” He said, “Yep.” I said, “And that would be
negative?” Another yep.
“Did you know
that that crap is fertilizer and it nourishes and makes tons of fruits and
vegetables? Without it, the fruits and vegetables would barely grow. And
fertilizer is used for lots of other things. The idea behind fertilizer is to
make things grow better, bigger and more. Does this sound negative to you?” By
now I had his interest and he said, “No Gramma.”
day a while ago … I remember being on a stretch of road that I have driven many
times. I have to refrain from breathing through my nose as several miles reek
from cattle stockyards. A guy that I was dating was working in that area and
was looking into purchasing a home in that vicinity. I asked him how he was
going to live with that smell. He said … “I don’t smell anything bad.” I said,
“Really?” And he responded, “No I don’t smell crap, I smell money.”
I really like
how opportunities appear when we least expect them … presenting a learning
experience, if we choose.
Lower back issues have Bryan's attention; doctors say there's not a
reason yet this pain has been around for a long time. In our discussion
Bryan shares about his abduction as a 3-year-old and a father who lied.
There are those times in life when emotionally charged
situations take control and God watch out.
Thoughts run rapid, irrational
behaviors aren't questioned. What to do?
We know what to do!
No need to think this through, no need to slow down and breathe,
no need to reach out and talk this out with someone who is NOT involved for an
objective perspective… No, our need to be right trumps good sense.
We know what to do!
Or so we believe. Until it doesn’t get us the results we’re
Through the Grace of God, something clicks.
When we slow down, breathe, reach out for an objective
perspective, miracles occur.
This you can believe. Wishing you a wonderful day!
Grandmother attempts to overtake her daughter’s authority
trying to teach daughter how to discipline the grandchildren. Daughter says it’s
not happening. Is there more to this story? How do they honor each other and yet remain true to what's best for the grandchildren?
I recently had a conversation with someone who is
experiencing turmoil in his life. Having a curious nature about me I asked what
kept him in his uncomfortable situation. His response, “It’s comfortable and at
least I know what’s going on, if I change I won’t know won’t what to expect.”
We have this fallacy of “being comfortable”.Perhaps the idea of being comfortable alters our perception of life.
·Life isn’t working the way we want it, we say,
·Our health is compromised – we blame it on _____
(kids, work, animals, etc.)
·Relationships aren’t what we expected – it’s the other person’s
isn’t great anymore? – just too much stress …
·Opportunities are passed to the other person – we’re
Being comfortable with a menu of knowing is routine which includes blame, avoiding risk... and like clockwork, our mind reiterates the same thoughts, day after day.
One thing is certain,
when we hangout with this thinking, we find friends with similar viewpoints and miss the opportunity of fresh ideas and the courage to challenge our thoughts.
Scary as situations can be, by taking baby steps we can manage the unexpected; it takes faith, believing in the process and in ourselves. It’s a
The two sides of OCD - I’m referring to my everyday
life and some of the ways I’ve responded.
I have learned the bright side of having OCD; there are many
benefits such as the ability to track conversations, patterns and sequence
(words, people, places and things) and a whole lot more…
Thank goodness for the bright side as the dark side can be
very disturbing. Way back in the day, I was like a magnet noticing everything
wrong; typically I didn’t counter balance the experience with understanding or
compassion. With time and commitment to self-improvement, my internal response
to these different situations has improved… even those times when I see red.
A self-taught artist, my eye for detail is always at the
I used to paint still-life – pretty good at it though I recall
the last still-life painting, I made my life and the lives of my children and
former husband hell; a relentless three days to perfect a bird’s feather was
enough for me to put my paintbrush away for ten years. My perfection obsession
One day at an art fair I was captivated with a whole new painting
expression, it looked fun and I haven’t looked back. I absolutely love my
whimsical painting! It brings me so much joy! Give me furniture, canvas or
fabric and acrylic paint, even wall paint … and I’m in heaven.
My website is another expression of my creativity… when I
hire someone I expect them to be better (as they are the professional/ expert)
or at least as good as me. After several attempts, sometimes seeing red and
sometimes having a meltdown, I surrendered to accepting for the time being my
work would suffice keeping in mind someday that person would appear.
As everything in life, it’s how we respond to any situation.
I believe the more we know about ourselves (and using the information as a tool
of improvement) the better we manage our lives. In fact, even with the
difficulties I continue to move through, I really appreciate the positive benefits