Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I thought his name rectified my experience

I don't need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves. - Shirley MacLaine

I cringed when someone introduced their partner /husband/wife as their 'other half'.

When I married my ex-husband I became Mrs. Husband's first and last name. It gave me value, an identity. I believed that my husband would give me what I didn't have and his name was one of many ways he rectified my existence. 

Somewhere along the path of life I learned that I wasn't enough and by attaching myself to someone, I would be whole.

Many years later my children's father and I divorced. My other half – the person who rectified my existence was gone and once again, I was without an identity, though not for long.

Another man came into my life, this time a doctor. I remember calling my mother exclaiming how I was in relationship with a doctor. This declaration trumped my typical conversation: my mother was impressed. 

Eventually, the doctor and I went different directions and the day came when realized I was co-dependent.

I went to work on myself and transitioned out of co-dependency to being independent. I didn’t realize one was/is the shadow of the other. Oh gosh. 

Many years later I learned (and continue) to practice being inter-dependent. Learning to love and accept myself as a whole person has been quite the experience.

Yes Shirley, profound.

A happy day to you,

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